The Well-Tempered Plot Device, door

The Well-Tempered Plot Device, door Nick Lowe [via Neil Gaiman]

In the following pages I will reveal:


  • a whole new language of criticism
  • the secret of success in science fiction writing
  • and a revolutionary new technique of interpretation that will grant you instant and total understanding of Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and many far less reputable works.

And while I’m about it I’ll propose a new definition of magic, account for the existence of Lionel Fanthorpe, and show you a way to derive pleasure from Stephen Donaldson books. (Needless to say, it doesn’t involve reading them. But neither does it involve burying them under six foot of badger manure and napalming the lot, which you might think the obvious answer.)

Zeer, zéér goed artikel. Alhoewel, I quite enjoyed Stephen Donaldson. Ik heb dan ook al zijn boeken, ha! Maar aan de andere kant:

Clench Racing

This is a social and competitive sport, that can be played over and over with renewed pleasure. Playing equipment currently on the market restricts the number of players to six, but the manufacturers may yet issue the series of proposed supplements to raise the maximum eventually to nine.

The rules are simple. Each player takes a different volume of The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, and at the word “go” all open their books at random and start leafing through, scanning the pages. The winner is the first player to find the word “clench”. It’s a fast, exciting game — sixty seconds is unusually drawn-out — and can be varied, if players get too good, with other favourite Donaldson words like wince, flinch, gag, rasp, exigency, mendacity, articulate, macerate, mien, limn, vertigo, cynosure…. It’s a great way to get thrown out of bookshops. Good racing!