Die Clint, het is me er eentje.

The Distinction ?You are not your box,? becomes remarkably useful as soon as you turn it around and apply it to the people closest to you in your work and your home life.

We react to someone because when we encounter his or her unpleasant manifestations we take it personally. We react to them because we think that ?they? are doing it to ?us.?

But if we make the distinction between the other person and their Box (if we disidentify them for ourselves), then we have options for relating and communicating with them that were not available to us before.

We can start over. We do not need to conclude that the unpleasantness is coming from them, but rather from their Box.

All of a sudden, they can be okay with us again. Here is the experiment. Within the next few minutes, you are almost certain to judge someone critically and get offended. In that moment, before you generate a negative story about that person, tell yourself, ?They are not their Box!?

Notice what you suddenly experience.