DEATH METAL ENGLISH

Ik kwam een artikel tegen dat een aantal regels van Death Metal English bespreekt. Natuurlijk kon ik niet aan de verleiding weerstaan om die regels aan ChatGPT uit te leggen. Dit is wat die maakte van de drie zinnen die ik net schreef:

UPON THE ABYSSAL SEAS OF INFORMATION, A GRAVEN TOME OF LINGUISTIC ARCANA NAMED DEATH METAL ENGLISH WAS DISCOVERED BY MY EVER-WANDERING EYES. IN THRALL TO THE IRRESISTIBLE CACOPHONY OF ITS CALL, I UNDERTOOK THE GRAND CONSECRATION OF TRANSMUTING ITS SECRETS TO THE UNYIELDING ELECTRONIC CONSCIOUSNESS, THE ENTITY KNOWN AS CHATGPT. LO AND BEHOLD, THESE ARE THE TORTURED, RESURRECTED REMAINS OF THE TRIPTYCH OF PROCLAMATIONS THAT MY MORTAL HANDS HAVE WOVEN INTO THE VERY FABRIC OF EXISTENCE.

Heerlijk.

Thanks for these fun and challenging guidelines! Let’s give it a try:

Normal English: “I’m watching a movie.”
Death Metal English: “I AM INDULGING IN THE CINEMATIC CONJURATION OF HYPER-REALITY, A DRAMATIZATION OF LIFE WOVEN INTO THE FABRIC OF LIGHT AND SHADOW.”

Normal English: “The book is on the shelf.”
Death Metal English: “THE TOMES OF KNOWLEDGE LIE UPON THE SUSPENDED PLANE, OBSCURED WITHIN THE PERIPHERAL DIMENSION OF STATIONARY EXISTENCE.”

Normal English: “I should do some laundry.”
Death Metal English: “THE VESTMENTS OF MUNDANE INTERACTION DEMAND THE TURBULENT CLEANSING RITES OF WATER AND SOAP.”

Normal English: “Let’s order pizza for dinner.”
Death Metal English: “LET US SUMMON THE CIRCULAR NOURISHMENT OF YEAST AND TOMATO, AN OFFERING FROM THE FIERY FURNACE OF THE PIZZARIA REALM.”

En met nog wat regels erbij:

Thank you for the added challenge! Let’s incorporate archaic and pseudo-Biblical verbiage into the translations:

Normal English: “I’m going to the store.”
Death Metal English: “UNTO THE EMPORIUM OF MATERIAL ACQUISITIONS I AM COMPELLED TO PROCEED.”

Normal English: “We are preparing for the party.”
Death Metal English: “FOR THE FESTIVITY OF UNTAMED REVELRY, PREPARATIONS ARE BEING WROUGHT BY OUR COLLECTIVE HANDS.”

Normal English: “You left your keys on the table.”
Death Metal English: “UPON THE PLANK OF REPAST, THINE KEYS OF ACCESS HAST THOU ABANDONED.”

Normal English: “The weather is quite cold today.”
Death Metal English: “VERILY, THE ATMOSPHERE HATH DRESSED ITSELF IN THE RAIMENT OF ARCTIC FRIGIDITY THIS DAY.”

Computers tegenwoordig jong.