The Matrix review:

The movie is totally like a Piers Anthony novel come to life. Keanu Reeves, from the equally rad “Johnny Mnemonic,” is a hacker and this big mysterious guy named Morpheus, played by Laurence Fishburne, is looking for him. Well, it is like Morpheus knows that we’re all living in a fantasy world (the Matrix – awesome!) created by computers and he wants to overthrow the computers.

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All the characters have names like “Trinity,” “Morpheus,” “Neo,” and “Cypher.” In the robot-vampire novel I am going to write, I have a character named “Cypher” so you know they are creative and not just naming people “Bob” or “Angela.” The whole movie is cool like that, like they think up cool names for stuff and make everything look really cool.

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One other thing that rocks is the hot girl in the movie, because she is tough. You totally know she is tough because she wears leather all the time and scowls.

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Something else that rocked so hard was that they didn’t even bother telling you anything about any of the characters. If you don’t like them, then go read more Philip K. Dick and shut up because you’re stupid.