Soms zijn er van die verhalen waar een mens het niet droog bij houdt:

I’ve been a father for 9 years. When my daughter was a baby, she occasionally was very difficult to put to bed, and nothing her mom or I would do or say would comfort her. One tearful night, I took her in my arms, rocked her gently, and sang “Silent Night”, the only song I could think of, since Christmas was around the corner.

Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright …and so on.

She fell right asleep in my arms within minutes. I was very happily surprised by the discovery of such powers.

For the rest of her infancy, I had “the magic touch”, and her mother would hand her to me on those difficult nights. However, after she turned 3 years old, sleep came easier, and my services as the Sandman were no longer required. Just a simple “good night, I love you”, and a kiss was all that was needed.

About two years ago, my wife died. The loss of one’s mother is hard to take by any measure, but my daughter took it quite badly. She stopped talking, showed little emotion, and withdrew entirely. I did my best to bring my little daughter back, to help her grieve, but she was inconsolable. Bedtime was the worst, since it was only me wishing her goodnight, and there was empty silence where her mother’s “good night, I love you” used to be.

One night, a few weeks later, my daughter broke the empty silence.

“Dad?…”

“Yes dear”

“…can you sing Silent Night for me?”

“Of course”

And I sang Silent Night to her in my cracking voice as best I could, as she soaked my shoulder with tears.

Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright

Then, I felt a sudden pain, and realized she had bitten into my shoulder. Shocked, I turned to her, and her eyes had turned red and beady, and her skin the texture of a lizard.

As her claws scratched at my face, she hissed, “You ignorant human! I killed your wife, and now I will kill you!!!”

I clamored to get away, but I was now pinned down by this ferocious creature.

Just at that moment, I heard a terrible crash, the ceiling fell around us, and a topless Scarlett Johansson with a badass frickin plasma cannon came blasting through the dust and debris. She blew away the creature/daughter with a single shot, vaporizing it, and grabbed me tight..

“Two to transport. NOW!” We got the hell off that planet, and spent the next few days space fucking.

[via], waar anders