En nieuws van Cliff Yablonski op Something Afwul:

Well judging by my calendar I stole from the Stuckey’s bathroom in the summer of 1986, today is apparently Christmas, that godawful trainwreck of a holiday when you’re supposed to give your retarded kids some gifts in the hope that they might try to eat them and choke to death so you don’t have to hear them screaming and whining about how they don’t like being forced to hold up a 1974 Zenith Console television set because you broke the TV stand the night before while throwing it at what you thought was a burglar but turned out to be a pair of pants glued to the window. Usually Christmas here in Appleton City is a complete disaster zone full of screeching mental failures wandering around and emitting noises from their throats that sound like bullfrogs trying to mate with heated fireplace pokers. They parade around like headless ferrets, asking for me to give them free candy and light firecrackers and all kinds of crazy shit and sometimes they dress up as ghosts. I usually respond by throwing cans of gasoline into their eyes and cramming a combat boot through their stomach like I was stuffing a bunch of big, fat, retarded turkeys who always fuck up my order at Wendy’s. So I don’t know where all the shrieking shitpiles in this city went off to this Christmas because they sure as hell aren’t prancing around town and spreading their heartwarming message that it’s okay to use asbestos condoms whenever screwing the neighbor’s dog. I can only hope that they went on a Christmas cruise aboard a ship being used for Navy target practice or as an anal applicator for Godzilla or Mudzilla or Mothmonsterman or whatever that giant lizard thing was from Japan.