Hey, had ik al eens gezegd van die keer dat ik dolfijn gegeten heb? Dolfijn is minder bedreigd dan pakweg tonijn, en dolfijn is lekker, mm.

Ik was daarnet aan het lezen over dolfijnen, en het begon zo:

Dolphins have long been considered some of the smartest animals next to humans. They exhibit complex behaviors such as: social hierarchy, formation of alliances, what appears to be suicide and cooperative behavior. This paper will deal with alliance formation in particular. Why do dolphins form these alliances? Is it simply helpful for survival or is it more complex? How do these alliances compare with human behavior?

Oooh, cutesy-poo dolfijnen die vriendschappen vormen!

Male alliances are usually groups of two or three males that can last many years. The association coefficient for some pairs of males is in the same range as those found for mothers and their nursing calves.

Vrolijke vrolijke vrienden! Kameraadschappen voor het leven, zo schattig!

Euh wel, nee.

So why do males form these alliances? The answer seems to greatly reflect human behavior: to get women. Male alliances typically "herd" females for anywhere from a few minutes to months.

These herding events are not usually enjoyed by the females. Herding is often forcible with escape events and violence involved.

In a herding event males will surround the female or chase her. Aggression toward the female is common and can include: hitting with the tail, head-jerks, charging, biting, or body slamming.

Should the female try to escape, which often happens, the males will chase her more often than not. Of course the ultimate goal of a herding event is sex and the males in the alliance will take turns to make sure everyone has an equal share. If the alliance has three members, only 2 will herd the female and the third will stay behind. However, the individual who is left behind changes with every herding event so again all members have an equal chance at mating.

Groepsverkrachtingen. Uh huh.