Groucho Marx.
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
My mother loved children — she would have given anything if I had been one.
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.